What a week!

Man alive!!! What a week it sure has turned out to be. It has been crazy, scary, wonderful, great, aweful, everything all wrapped into one. I am still in the hospital PRAYING that we (daddy and I) are able to go home tonight. My blood pressure is still high, so it may be iffy. All i can say is sleeping in hospitals is not cool. I guess it would be similar to when we bring Lucy home, no sleep at all. This has been such a crazy experience, now i am talking about birth and the new life of motherhood. When they induced my labor i could immediately feel the result of the on coming contractions. At that point, EPIDURAL please!!! I seriously CANNOT believe I ever contemplated going natural, ARE YOU KIDDING, not in a million years. Praise to all you poineer women out there that go natural, you guys are TOUGH cookies!!! I was trying to focus and breath and do all those things while you are contracting, but thanks to the super friendly chattiness of my nurse, I had to listen to her talk about chocolate, and laughing, shooting the breeze like nothing. To her, it probably was, but to me, I just wanted to scream! But then i luckily got the epidural in and all was well in zion, well of course, until the going got tough and it wore off almost completely and I felt pretty much EVERYTHING!!! Lets just say that going through birth was THE absolute hardest/painful thing I have ever done in my life. There were moments when I honestly did not think I could do it, but somehow it happened and all of a sudden I saw my little juicy butterball being carried over to get worked on. Talk about SURREAL!!!! I had invisioned this moment time and time again, and once again, just like the rest of the week, it wasnt exactly how I imagined. I was in such shock thinking that I have a real life child and watching the nurses carry her away, that I had no emotion. I thought that I should cry, but i couldnt, I just layed there. Isnt that the weirdest thing?! I had no emotions when my first born child was born. I only got to hold her for about 2 minutes before they had to take her away again. And again, I just layed there in complete oblivion. It has been so strange these last couple of days, having a child but only with the supervision of others. We cant take her to our room and when we are in the nursery, all the nurses, other babies and parents, and machines are all around and we cant just be a family all by ourselves and that is a really strange thing to us. I just want to hold my baby all day, and just look at her and marvel at how precious she is. She may have to be in the hospital until her actual due date (March 30) but she may get to come home sooner (fingers crossed) if she learns how to eat. I just pray that all goes well, I cant wait to have my family all to myself, healthy and happy!!!!